Oh my God…
Have you ever played Street Fighter, Tekken or any half way competent fighting game and wondered “what would it be like to fight as Jesus?”. Well, good news you holy devil. A new game on Steam is looking to fulfill that niche – as Fight of Gods rolls out onto Valve’s increasingly laughable Steam storefront.
The press release for Fight of Gods reads like something a thirteen-year-old scribbled out in three minutes, offering such delights as;
“Jesus and Buddha punch the holy $*!% out of each other in FIGHT OF GODS!”
“Prepare for Immortal Kombat!”
“Who will prevail in the ultimate battle of gods? Will Jesus, fresh from ripping himself off the sacrificial cross, smite all his foes with the power of his Punishment Fist? Can Buddha slap his opponents into submission? Harness the power of fire, lightning, water, plagues and more as you pit gods and prophets such as Odin, Zeus, Amaterasu, Anubis,Moses and Athena against one another in one of the most unique and outlandish fighters ever created.”
No, your eyes do not deceive you, this game is actually promoting itself on the back of Jesus vs. Buddha. Zeus vs. Odin. If you live in a household with the easily offended, this might be something to hide away.
Perhaps most amazing of all, the developers seem to be fishing for DLC ideas, with this hilarious tidbit at the end of the whole thing;
“Poseidon? Ra? Loki? Quetzalcoatl? Cthulu? Korean Jesus? Somebody else? We want to know who gets your vote for the next wave of fighters!”
I don’t know what Korean Jesus is, but I certainly need to know now!
The whole situation is a sad reflection of the state Steam currently finds itself in. Closing Greenlight was intended to seal this particular mess up for good – but that seems hopelessly optimistic when low effort titles like this are filling up the storefront.
Who knows, maybe if this one catches enough backlash – Valve will have to act. Or God will strike them down.