I think its fair to say, 2017 hasn’t been the best year for cinema. With taking down at the box office and franchises burning out left, right and center – there’s a sense that things might need to change in the coming years. Some of the worst movies from 2017 did little to change this, helping to mark the year as a particular negative.
We figured we’d pick out the top 10 worst movies from across 2017 – in our eyes. Of course, these lists are subjective – but these movies really did leave me feeling annoyed after I’d seen them.
Which films did you consider the worst movies of 2017?
What happens when you take a several decades old television property, inject two of Hollywood’s biggest stars and release it under the guise of “tribute”? If the countless movie flops like Charlies Angels and Miami Vice didn’t showcase the answer, Dwayne Johnson’s Baywatch certainly did.
The Baywatch movie is just sad. It wants to be cheery and uplifting but thanks to a plot that’s more lightweight than The Rock’s eyebrow, it loses itself in a tediously dull affair. Zac Efron tries but he can’t save this sinking ship from the tedium while Dwayne Johnson is so oblivious to his delivery, I can’t decide if he knew this movie was bad.
One of the major flops of the summer, don’t expect to see more of this revival in the future.
9. Transformers: The Last Knight
Another year, another Transformers movie. Serving as both Michael Bay’s finale in the director’s seat and as the first step in a much wider Transformers cinematic universe, The Last Knight really messes up all across the board – delivering one of 2017’s most disappointing outings to date.
It’s amazing to think that this franchise has somehow gotten worse the more it pushes on. The story is so cookie cutter, so boring and so desperate to increase the stakes that you can’t help but doze off. Perhaps the biggest sin though was the decision to introduce a time jumping element to the story – showcasing Transformers fighting in medieval times. It’s so badly executed and destroys any potential flow the movie had.
The fact there are a reported dozen movies in the pipeline makes me so sad. This franchise hasn’t just run out of gas – it’s ready for the scrapheap.
It’s been so long so we got a decent disaster movie. San Andreas was arguably the last decent attempt to make something of the genre – Geostorm sums up just why audiences aren’t turning up for these messes anymore.
If the ridiculous premise doesn’t have you rolling your eyes, the acting across the board will. As we dive from location to location, the confusing delivery of key plot points serves to undermine any dramatic tension. By the time the movie begins its march to the conclusion, you’ll be well beyond truly caring.
The problem with this movie is that it isn’t fun. These movies thrive on the element of dramatic tension and fun. We want to see the main characters pull through. In this one, I was hoping a giant wave would wash away the entire cast. One of the worst movies in this genre for a long while.
7. King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
Guy Richie’s vanity project spectacularly crashed and burned earlier this year – there’s very little reason why it shouldn’t have when you look at the absolute stinker he rolled out to audiences.
This retelling of the classic King Arthur story plays fast and loose with the established canon of events – attempting to bring in a Game of Thrones style grandeur to events. It fails miserably though, with a plot that’s harder to pull through than the sword Excaliber. None of the characters have any appeal outside of being big men hitting each other while the lack of Merlin screams to how little Guy and his team understood the source material.
The end result is a movie that lacks any real excitement or joy, proving to be a slog to experience.
The fact that this movie managed to bag a $175 million budget is frankly disgusting. The end result is a movie that’s neither entertaining nor worth the effort. Not only one of the worst movies of the year – one of the most disappointing.
6. xXx: The Return of Xander Cage
It’s clear that Vin Diesel’s rising star has given some within Hollywood confidence to revisit some of his earlier work. That’s the only real reason I can imagine this film was ever allowed to make it to the big screen.
It’s a weird one because the movie never really does anything exciting – given who’s helming it seems all the more shocking. Vin Diesel seems to be going through the motions as the film tries to drive up the tension. It never really works, leading to a movie that struggles to justify the effort to watch it. Worse yet, the plot is so by-the-books that audiences will long stop caring about Xander or any of the characters around him.
The movie performed poorly at the US box office but found surprise success overseas. Don’t be surprised if there’s more to come.
Universal’s big attempt at creating a cinematic universe got off to the worst possible start in 2017 – with this abject remake of The Mummy.
The plot is so convoluted and meandering that it fails to keep focus. Jumping between the Middle East and London – things only get worse when the titular mummy presents less of a threat and more of an annoyance. Without the charm of the Brendan Fraiser’s action adventure or the suspense of the original movie – this outing feels incredibly bland by comparison.
Rumors suggest that Tom Cruise caused all kinds of production issues in this film. From effectively taking over the editing booth to him getting the final say on script edits, these are problems that translate on to the screen. It’s a confused mess, one that doesn’t understand what it wants to be or what aim it’s trying to achieve.
The worst movies don’t feel like proper movies, they feel like wasted time. Sadly for this Tom Cruise disaster, it could very well have killed The Dark Universe before it got started.
This attempted retooling of the once popular horror franchise arrived earlier in 2017 and was quickly forgotten by audiences – for good reason. In a year where horror found new prominence among the mainstream, Rings provides a shocking example of one of 2017’s worst movies.
The movie fails miserably in recapturing the spirit of the original films – coming off as awkward homage instead. The plot is lazy while the characters within are seemingly so brain-dead, you’ll be delighted to see them fall like dominoes. It’s not even that the film is bad, it’s so boring and overly unable to grasp tension – it feels the need to shove the Ringu monster in your face with no concern for the effect on the plot overall.
There are rumors that this was the intended first step in a much wider cinematic universe. Yeah, let’s not shall we?
3. Bad Kids of Crestview Academy
You may not know much about this movie series, if only because its managed to fall completely out of mainstream view. That’s not a bad thing when you consider that this sequel is one of the most awkward outings in 2017.
the movie is based on a graphic novel but you wouldn’t catch this from the way things are portrayed as the movie ejects all connections and themes from the source material. Instead, it awkwardly tries to hit a happy medium between dark horror and humor – failing miserably along the way.
With an awful cast and a plot seemingly stitched together during the writer’s lunch break, the films only real interesting note is the copious amounts of gore it showcases. Except even that is tragically bad. It does nothing except make you wish you were watching a Saw movie – even the bad ones.
I get that this franchise means something to someone out there, but do yourself a favor and skip this entirely. It’s one of the worst movies for sure.
2. The Emoji Movie
The Emoji Movie presents an interesting case study in how Hollywood will take literally any cultural trend and turn it into a movie – all in the name of profits. It’s just a shame this modestly budgeted animated flick does everything wrong.
The plot makes absolutely no sense. From the word go, you’ll be screaming as the movie trips over its own internal logic for the sake of jokes. The characters are so vapid and cookie cutter that you’ll lose interest long before the film hits its climax, while the movie is littered with product placements and tediously thought out set pieces.
Perhaps most disappointing, the movie has nothing at all to say about the topics it claims to be exploring. Its meta-commentary on the shallow use of emojis never comes close to sticking the landing – while the human side of the story is told with such amazing disinterest that you’ll give up long before the movie closes.
There are so many better movies out there for your kids to watch.
1. Fifty Shades Darker
I can’t underline just how much I disliked the Fifty Shades of Grey book series. They were nothing short of ham-fisted fan fiction blown up to monstrous success. The fact we’ve managed to get a movie trilogy out of that only further anger.
Perhaps more amazing though, this sequel manages to be even less sexy than the original. With more time dedicated to the cardboard chemistry of the main characters, we’re left with a movie that teases the goods but rarely delivers. Even if you were here for the sexy times, the film awkwardly skids around that.
But the problems go deeper than this. The plot wants to explore themes of trust and consent but because it’s so unsure of what those themes are or how to approach them with any substance, we get puddle deep conversations and shocking generalizations. I’ve seen more realistic relationships in my Sims games.
The entire movie has a sense of everyone wanting to be anywhere but there. After watching this, I can say with complete confidence that there’s only shade of color this movie really is. And it ain’t grey…