After first carnival of fun,WCW Nitro still had a long way to go before it became the ratings winner of later years. The first episode (You should totally check out our run through of the first Nitro here) was a mess, but an absolute delight compared to the hot mess that was this weeks episode. How bad? Let’s dive in, eat our vitamins and hope the wrestling Gods show mercy on us.
When?: September 11, 1995
Where?: The Knight Center in Miami, Florida
Hello everyone and welcome back to The WCW Nitro Saga! I am your host JeriKane, and, there’s really not much to say, so let’s get right into it!
Episode #2 start!
We open the show tonight by getting our first proper look at the WCW Nitro set we’ve all come to be familiar with. I must say it’s looking particularly sexy with the light show going on all around it. I feel like a set like this could still hold up even in today’s world. Bischoff welcomes us to Miami, your usual stuff you get from wrasslin’ commentators. Now I am going to un-pause this episode, and if Steve McMichael is there again I will… be very upset. Yeah. Upset. Anyways, uncle Eric promotes the World Championship match tonight between Hulk Hogan and Lex Luger, as well as Randy Savage vs. Scott Norton (I’m guessing he was the mystery man from last week?). We pan to the commentary table, and….
I fucking swear man. This dude better not suck tonight, but it’s already off to a not-good start. I am going to pray and carry on, though. I can make it through this. I am doing this strictly for Bobby The Brain Heenan, because that man is a god damn legend and deserved better than to be working with the likes of Steve McMichael. God help us all. I think Eric Bischoff’s face tells the whole story here. This is just god awful. We get a replay of what happened last week between Luger and Hogan, while I reply to my friend who sent me a message on Steam, because I’ve seen this fucking shit already and I’m over it. While I did that I overheard Luger say “I am sick, and tired, of playing around with kids. I am here to get it on with the big boys!” and I just completely burst out laughing. That sounds so wrong. How did I not catch that last week? It was the perfect icing to top that amazing clusterfuck cake. Bad Boy Eric mentions Vader, and says he’s AWOL and won’t be part of the PPV coming up. That’s unfortunate. He then calls Steve McMichael “Mongo” which now gives me the clearance to also call him “Mongo” from now on. We head to the ring and it’s Sabu making his entrance, which means it’s time for our first match of the night.
Match #1: Sabu vs. ‘Das Wunderkind’ Alex Wright
Well, this match gets started pretty much right as Alex Wright gets down to the ring with some arm drags. From then on Sabu basically murders Das Wunderkind. While this beating continues, I want to say that I am now a fan of Alex’s entrance music. Sabu went for his chair jump dive move on the outside of the ring, but Young Boy Alex moved, and Sabu went crashing into the barricade. Welcome to WCW. Alex Wright is actually in control right now, which is slightly surprising to me. Sabu almost exposed Das Wunderkind’s ass and I’m not about that life. This match has been almost entirely on the outside of the ring. It’s basically a light ECW style and it’s weird. You can just kind of tell that Sabu was not made for WCW.
OH MY FUCKING GOD Bobby Heenan just asked Bischoff how long Mongo was gonna be around for, and he replied “he’s gonna be here a long, long time” and I am filled with hate again. This show sucks, why am I doing this to myself? I’ve sat and listened to a lot of shitty commentators in my day. Mike Adamle, Florida Georgia Line, Matt Striker, but this motherfucker, Mongo, takes the cake. God dammit. Anyways, Sabu wins with some weird, like, reverse Hurricanrana forward dive thing, I don’t know. I noticed during the count that the referee was Nick Patrick and his mullet, so that goes to show you how much they were in the ring. Sabu continues his assault post-match despite the fact that he’s already won the god damn thing. Sabu grabs a table from the entrance way, sets it up outside the ring, and puts that poor bastard Alex Wright through it.
Apparently Nick Patrick has reversed his decision, and now Alex Wright is the winner of this match. Okay then. That was stupid and pointless, makes Sabu look like a dumbass. I guess it got him over as dangerous though, so there’s that. All I can think of is when Ken Shamrock won at WrestleMania XIV against The Rock, but because he too was a dumbass, he got the decision reversed. Oh well, this match was definitely a match. It was weird, it didn’t feel like I was watching WCW, but maybe that’s just because my brain is conditioned to automatically think “ECW” and “hardcore flippy shit” when I see Sabu. Either way, this match is over and we’re moving on.
Match Rating: 2 stars
Up next on WCW Nitro, Sting vs. Mr. Wall Street. First however, we get Mean Gene in the ring, introducing Ric Flair. Why? I don’t know. Let’s find out. Apparently it’s Ric Flair vs. Arn Anderson at Fall Brawl. He goes on about the night he had prior to Nitro, and how Arn wasn’t there. Arn was too busy calling his wife and kid and being a family man. Disgraceful, I say. Suddenly here comes Lex Luger for some reason. Ric Flair is completely losing his shit over “The Total Package” and it’s both hilarious and slightly adorable. It’s nice to know Slick Ric has always been kind of crazy though. Luger says Flair is “too much” anD THEN WALKS OFF SUDDENLY. WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THAT? Holy shit that was random. Mean Gene gets Flair to leave the ring and now, it’s time for our next contest.
Match #2: Mr. Wall Street vs. Sting
First of all, screw all this “VK Wallstreet” shit, fuck it. He is Mr. Wall Street and you cannot stop me from calling him that. Second of all, Sting got the absolute weakest pyro display I have ever seen in my life, and I feel like that says a lot because I just saw Brock Lesnar come out to no pyro at all this past Sunday. Lastly, Eric Bischoff gave away the results for (what appeared to be) RAW’s main event. He first said to not bother thinking about turning to the competition, it’s three weeks old. Then said “Shawn Michaels defeated The Big Guy” with a kick. Now who the hell is “The Big Guy?” I’m assuming Kevin Nash. I might actually Google that and see who it was. Give me a minute or two.
Okay upon my Google search, I saw that it was Sycho Sid who Shawn defeated. Not only that, but it was an Intercontinental Championship Match. Which thinking about it makes sense. Shawn had just retained the title at SummerSlam the month before, and I think he wins it one more time in December before he officially goes into the main event scene at the Rumble in January. Regardless, I must now sit through Sting vs. Mr. Wall Street in what I’m sure will be the most basic of matches. We start off with IRS doing a leapfrog and I am immediately surprised. I don’t think he was a particularly young person at this point. Edible Eric literally just said “WWF” on air and Mongo called them “bush leagues” which admittedly got a chuckle out of me. I still hate him, but that got me. This match continues and it’s the most lame, dull shit I’ve ever seen. Stinger Splash, flying crossbody, and this one’s over.
That was about as generic as it gets, god damn.
Match Rating: 1 star
We get an advertisement for WCW Saturday Night, which will feature some matches, and the debut of the one and only Disco Inferno, so, that’s a thing. Just like that, we’re back at the ring for Scott Norton vs. Macho Man. I am still holding onto the hope that Scott will attack Mongo. I know it probably won’t happen, but let me dream.
Match #3: Scott Norton vs. Randy Savage
What is it with WCW and having matches start during fucking entrances. This is starting to get kind of annoying now. Anyways as Macho Man made his way to the ring looking cool as fuck, he got a pyro display that Sting could only dream of. I guess it really did pay off to be an ex-WWF guy around this time, they got serious royal treatment. This match starts off with Scott attacking Macho Man before Mach can even get his entrance gear off. My man Scott Norton is kicking Macho Man’s ass AND talking shit to Mongo at the same time. This guy is a legend. Randy Savage is legitimately getting fucked up and I am in shock. I’m starting to wonder if Scott might actually win this match.
Bobby Heenan just called Mongo “McNugget” and I am laughing once again. If only the person receiving a classic Heenan insult was worthy. Upon inspecting the referee for this match, I can confirm every ref in WCW has a mullet. This match was all Norton until Macho Man dodged a top rope dive. However as soon as Macho Man gets the upper hand, the Dungeon of Doom arrive. Fuck me. The finish came when Earthquake fell onto Norton’s knees which let Macho Man get the pin and escape.
That was awful. It was basically an extended Macho Man beating, and then he came back and won in like 3 moves. People like to talk about John Cena always coming back and winning, but shit, nothing he’s ever done holds a candle to this bullshit. On top of that, the match wasn’t even good. It just made the Dungeon of Doom look stupid (which might be the theme of the night here, heels looking dumb). I’m glad this is over.
Match Rating: 1 star
After the match Scott Norton and Earthquake get at each other with some shoves. They’re obviously not on the same page right now, which spells bad news because HULKAMANIA IS RUNNIN’ WILD THIS SUNDAY BROTHER, so yeah, they’d better get their shit together, and fast, if they want a chance at beating Hogan. Back from commercial and we’re right into Lex Luger’s entrance. It looks like this match will actually happen, which means its main event time. Wait no, another fucking commercial! We literally just came back from a break. If I’d been watching this live I would have been pissed off. We get an ad for Fall Brawl which still features Vader even though he’s not there. Regardless y’all, don’t forget to order!
I’m not watching this shit. Nitro is bad enough as is, I don’t care to watch the PPVs.
Match #4: Lex Luger vs. Hulk Hogan
Here we go, the big World Championship match. My immediate thought is, Lex Luger without wrist tape looks really weird. Hulk Hogan with some technical wrestling. Armbars, drop toe holds, similar things, Hogan’s going all out tonight. Luger with a suplex but Hogan gets up immediately. What a surprise. Mongo’s voice is really pissing me off right now. He’s just ruining everything. He reminds me of this kid I used to know who was like, the worst kid ever. “Luger is not used to this level of competition” – Eazy E. Why must everything be a jab at the World Wrestling Federation? It’s getting to be petty. Luger gets Hogan in the Torture Rack, but he lets him go before the final arm drop, because he too is a heel, therefore an idiot. The Hulkster is now hulking up, and he hits the leg drop, goes for the cover, but…. the Dungeon of Doom interfere yet again, and this match is thrown out.
Now before we continue with the end of the show, I’ll just say this match was fine. It was a good teaser for what was to come in the main events with Hogan and Luger. They’ll meet again one day, and when they do, it’ll be way better. For now though, they’ve got to go their own ways. Or not, we’ll see, maybe they’ll take out the Dungeon together.
Match Rating: 2 stars
The Dungeon of Doom whooped on Hogan a bit until Sting and Macho Man ran down to make the save, and then proceeded to clean house alongside Hogan. Luger got up and Hogan shoved him, before we cut to a commercial. Mean Gene is in the ring to interview Hulk Hogan about War Games on Sunday. The Hulkster says his team is still down a man, and that Lex Luger gave him the match of his life. Yes, the 7 minute headlock on Nitro was the match of his life. Anyway, I feel like I know where this is going. Let’s see if I’m right. Sting trying to be the good guy here and say Luger can replace Vader. Macho Man is having none of it and it’s kind of hilarious. This whole segment is amazing, they’re all arguing like children. Eventually Hulk asks Luger if he wants in on the War Games, Luger says yes but he wants a title shot down the line, and everyone (except Macho Man) is happy. Next week it’s Paul Orndorff vs. Johnny B. Badd (oh my god) and that’s it as we sign off for this week’s episode of Nitro.
Well, this week was definitely better than last week. We got some decent Sabu action, Scott Norton looking impressive, and tons of heel fuckery. It was pretty great as a go-home show for Fall Brawl, as it kind of made me want to watch the PPV to see if Luger will actually work with team Hogan. I’ll give this one a thumbs up this week. Still not particularly good, but I didn’t want to burn my eyes. Plus, Mongo wasn’t as much of a factor this week, which is always a super ultra plus.
What next for WCW Nitro? Check back next week to find out what crazy antics WCW Nitro can get into next.