Hello everybody, and welcome back to the now-ten-week-old WCW Nitro Saga, brought to you by yours truly. We’re celebrating ten weeks of relatively boring television, but you know what everyone always says, it’s not about the destination, but the journey, and folks, we’re on one hell of a journey right now. Tonight is the special Cyber-Sunday-Sin-City-Nitro-Roulette edition of Monday Nitro, so I imagine we’re gonna get some good stuff out of it. That said, no more imagining, let’s get to watching in this weeks WCW Nitro Saga.
WCW Nitro Saga
When?: November 6, 1995
Where?: Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum in Jacksonville, Florida
That feel when the show peaks at not even a minute in. Look at Pepe, he’s adorable. What a good boy. He deserves better than having to endure Mongo and his speaking. Eric Bischoff says Macho Man is in the building, but he’s injured, and therefore unable to compete tonight. That’s a shame. I kind of want to see Savage vs. Luger since Luger is the one who injured him. Not gonna happen on free TV though, lads. I want to mention that just a few days ago I finished reading Chris Jericho’s first book, and man. I already didn’t see WCW in the best light before reading that book, but after, I just kinda look at WCW with disgust. The complete lack of order, the egos, nobody truly running the ship. It’s freaking chaos. I’m honestly surprised WCW lasted as long as it did. After the NWO storyline started they needed someone to really take control of that company backstage, and Eric Bischoff just wasn’t quite the man for that. WCW truly was the clusterfuck to end all clusterfucks.
Nonetheless, we head to the ring for our first match of the night. Out comes a man named “Cobra” who looks like he was taken straight out of a G.I. Joe movie. All the while some horrible clicking and buzzing noise is happening in the background. Oh my god, my poor ears. Make it stop. Out next is The Giant with Jimmy Hart. Once Cobra man got into the ring, the clicking noise stopped. Maybe that was his entrance theme? I don’t know, but that was awful and I really hope it’s not a recurring thing tonight. Jimmy Hart’s evil laugh lights up the room as Giant enters with *his WCW World Championship. Or I guess just WCW Championship. It’s the World Championship Wrestling Championship. That’s hilarious to me and I don’t know why. Maybe because it’s kind of late as I’m writing this. We’ve got thunder outside, we’ve got rain. It’s a fun time. Certainly more fun than Cobra is about to have against The Giant. May JBL have mercy on his young soul. In a truly laugh out loud moment, Giant enters the ring and lifts up the ring announcer like he’s a little kid, and intimidates him into announcing this upcoming match as a World title match. Holy crap, that’s amazing.
Cobra vs. The Giant
Eric Bischoff is having a fit on commentary, saying that this match is not for the title. Well screw you, Eric, you don’t call the shots around here. Nick Bockwinkel does, and we don’t know his official ruling on this match yet. Who knows, maybe next week we’ll watch Nitro and Cobra will be the World champion. As for the match itself, it really wasn’t a match. The bell rang, Cobra ran straight into The Giant’s loving hand, and he got chokeslammed into the year 2033. Ladies and gentlemen the winner of this match, The Giant.
Match Rating: DUD
After a post-match celebration by The Giant and Jimmy Hart, we head backstage to Mean Gene Okerlund, who is in the “red” locker room, which is filled with most of the top heels in the WCW. Due to the whole voting situation, the heels and faces have been split up into a blue and a red locker room. It’s no Taboo Tuesday or anything, but I guess this works. Hey, Taboo Tuesday was pretty cool though, wasn’t it? Let’s be real. A PPV on a school night was the most awesome thing ever to me as a kid. Nowadays I dread just the thought of watching a PPV. I’ll never forget the excitement of going online to vote for Mankind to appear that one year (2005 I believe) against Carlito. I wouldn’t be against WWE doing another Taboo Tuesday-type event, but it can’t be lame like what they used to do on RAW sometimes. Remember the whole “vote for: A) Falls Count Anywhere. B) No Holds Barred. Or C) Street Fight.” None of that. I’d want real choices with real stakes. Rig the results all you want, but at least let me believe. Yes I am wasting a ton of time because I’m afraid WCW might be pulling the short-match-card all night.
Our red locker room occupants are: Ric Flair, Diamond Dallas Page, Big Bubba Rogers, Scott Norton, and The motherfreaking Shark. They’re all posing and trying to sell themselves non-verbally so the callers will book them in a match tonight, because of course, why would we choose Sting vs. Ric Flair when we can get Sting vs. The god damn Shark. It’s just blasphemy isn’t it? Anyways, I will now share this amazing screenshot that I’ve captured, because it’s fantastic and represents everything that is awesome about wrestling:
Look at this masterpiece. You’ve got Big Bubba talking trashing while taping up his wrist, you’ve got Ric Flair smiling like a child at Chuck E. Cheese, you’ve got DDP in the background kind of just hanging out, and then you’ve got The super ultra Shark and Scott Norton arguing with each other, because that’s what they do. All the while Mean Gene looks like he’s just completely had it with everyone’s bullshit. Oh my goodness, what a show, and we’re not even ten minutes into it yet. While all of this is happening, Mean Gene basically just runs down the rules of how to vote for the matches and stuff. Boring stuff to me that I assure you wasn’t boring to WCW viewers watching live in 1995. Mean Gene makes it a point to blow The Bluebloods’ cover as they’re behind the chaos. Mean Gene then calls them out for reading a book. How dare you, Mean Gene. Reading is awesome.
Now we head over to Tony Schiavone who is in the blue locker room, where the scenes are not as great, but still pretty funny. In here we’ve got: Sting, Johnny B. Badd, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Alex Wright, Mr. J.L., The Nasty Boys (why?), and a man in bright green. The Network version of this show appears to be busted, as we get some VHS interruptions. Some screen scanning and whatnot. That was very nostalgic, but I expect better from the WWE and their product. Mr. J.L. standing there reminds me of Gran Metalik. Now I won’t be able to see him as anything other than Gran Metalik. After Schiavone runs down the rules again, we head to a commercial break, where we see the first advertisement for WCW’s next PPV event, World War 3. Oh boy, that oughta be good. When we come back from the break, we see a pre-taped segment with Hulk Hogan from Venice Beach, where he is hanging out with the Macho Man Randy Savage. There is also a talented man who is singing and playing guitar. Very nice.
Hogan asks Macho Man to stick with him through World War 3, and Macho responds by saying that Hogan is too emotionally involved in the situation. He then proceeds to call the WCW Championship the “world belt,” and I can feel Vince McMahon’s rage from here. Macho says Hogan can take the low road, but he himself will be taking the high road. Macho says more stuff until they both agree on whatever it was. This is so cartoony. It’s unreal. How in the hell did anybody let Hogan get away with this until freaking 1996? I am baffled. Nonetheless we head back to live footage, and out comes The Taskmaster Kevin Sullivan alongside Jimmy Hart. Out next comes WCW’s knockoff Ultimate Warrior, The Renegade. It’s time for our next match.
Kevin Sullivan vs. The Renegade
In true WCW fashion, Renegade hit the ring and started his attack before the bell even rang. I’m at the point now where my goal is to find the funniest screenshot that I can, instead of one where both competitors are visible and looking at least somewhat serious. That’s just gone out the window. Renegade attacks with clotheslines all over the ring, until eventually sending poor Taskmaster outside of it. Renegade then jumps over the top rope and onto the floor in one swoop. Holy crap. You’d never see the actual Ultimate Warrior do anything like that. Jimmy Hart starts yapping into the megaphone which distracts Renegade, and allows Kevin Sullivan to take advantage from behind. Sullivan crotches Renegade on the ringside barricade. Jimmy Hart shouts “YOU COULD HAVE BEEN THE NEXT HULK HOGAN” at Renegade while he’s recovering on the floor. I wonder if anybody ever really felt that about The Renegade. I mean, he’s at least fast and agile. That’s gotta account for something, right? Taskmaster pulls up Renegade and slams him face first into the ring steps. He does that one more time before pulling Renegade into the ring, where he proceeds to lay in with a right hand.
Sullivan scales the ropes to hit some kind of Banzai Drop/Coup De Grace combination onto Renegade’s chest. He then knees the Renegade in the face. Ouch. Taskmaster then goes after Renegade with some open-palm chops, as well as a headbutt, and he drives his head into the turnbuckle. I can’t believe Granny Sullivan is ruining Fake Ultimate Warrior like this. Sullivan attempted to launch himself over the top rope onto Renegade, however Renegade was able to get his knees up and block. Not that it would have mattered any, Kevin barely cleared the ropes there. Renegade is actually making a comeback here, hitting Taskmaster with a springboard elbow in the corner (I’ll always associate that with Chyna. And, unfortunately, Kelly Kelly). Renegade tried a running knee, but got caught up in the ropes as Kevin Sullivan moved out the way. From there Sullivan hit the mini Coup De Grace from the corner for the three count and the win.
Match Rating: 2 and a Half Stars
What an odd match. I really didn’t expect any high-flying or fast paced action from these two guys, yet that’s exactly what we got. After the match Jimmy Hart throws a cup of water onto The Renegade’s face, then uses a towel to wipe off his face paint. What an evil son of a gun.
We now head backstage to Mean Gene Okerlund who’s still in the red locker room. It appears The Bluebloods are now done reading as William Regal is standing behind Mean Gene and wearing a monocle. Scott Norton and The Ultra Shark end up fighting again and go off screen. Then suddenly the lights go out. Oh my god, this is absolutely hilarious. Ric Flair starts to cut a promo in the dark, then the lights come back on, and Flair says they go on and off on his command. He says all eyes will be on him and Sting tonight as they do battle. Spoilers Stevenson, Ric. Mean Gene had to cut him off so they could move on, otherwise Ric probably would have kept going all night. Flair WOO’s us off into a commercial break, where we see our next battle will be Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero. Sweet. When we get back from the break we see what’ll be taking place on WCW Saturday Night this week. Kurasawa vs. Arn Anderson (RIP Double-A), as well as the debut of Disco Inferno’s new music video???? WHAT? Holy crap. I need to see that somehow.
Here comes Toothless Aggression himself, still looking like a CAW, with the generic club music to match. Talk about unfitting theme music, man oh man. Out next is Eddie Guerrero with slightly better music, as well as a pyro display. And charisma. Eddie Guerrero actually showed an emotion during his entrance. As soon as he gets in the ring, he’s attacked by Chris Benoit. What a god damn surprise, eh?
Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero
Seriously, what is up with practically every match starting like this? It’s getting to be redundant. Eddie gets taken down by a back elbow by Benoit to kick things off in this one. Starman Benoit kicks Eddie in the head, then picks him up to hit a snap suplex. Beautiful. Benoit hits him with a forearm, then a huge backsuplex, while Eric Bischoff mentions that these guys are looking for attention from promoters around the world, then says something about a Cruiserweight Championship. Oh shit lads, is it almost time? I kind of hope so. After Eddie attempted to fight back, Benoit laid him out with a big Stone Cold-esque spinebuster, then immediately hooked the legs for a Liontamer. We get a look at the crowd to see the rich Japanese men from last week have returned, and are once again eating during a match. This time though, they have Jushin Thunder Liger with them, so that’s cool. Christopher tries for a powerbomb, however Eddie is able to escape with an armdrag. He follows that up with a flashy springboard armdrag, and then nails a tilt-a-whirl sideslam. Eddie Guerrero is back in business, ladies and gentlemen.
Eddie whips Benoit off the ropes and nails him with what was supposed to be a jumping heel kick, but ended up being a shoulder to shoulder collision. Benoit rolls out of the ring to escape this vicious assault from Guerrero. That proved to be a bad move however, as although Eddie couldn’t hit a suicide dive like he originally wanted, he DID connect with a jumping splash from the top rope to the outside, and DOWN. GOES. BENOIT. Some old lady had the nerve to shove Eddie Guerrero while he was posing in the entrance way. What a mean thing to do. Back in the ring, Latino Heat connects with a very nice brainbuster on Benoit. Eddie goes for what I can only assume was going to be a frog splash, however he got met up on the ropes by Starman, who then hits a superplex, and now BOTH. MEN. ARE DOWN. Starman attempts a pinfall for only a two count. He then picks up Eddie and slams him down with a devastating powerbomb, which gets him another two count. Benoit hits a short-arm clothesline as commentary babbles on about Hulk Hogan and whatever he’s doing in Venice Beach. Benoit shoots Eddie off the ropes, but Eddie counters with a roll-up pin, which only nets him a two count.
Starman got back up immediately and kicked Eddie Guerrero in the head. He then shot him off the ropes looking for a knee to the midsection, however Eddie once again rolls through with a pinfall, for yet another two count. Benoit takes control with a German suplex for a two count, then follows that up with a Northern Lights Suplex for, you guessed it, another two count. Benoit attempts a full nelson submission, but Eddie is able to get to the ropes. No offense for Latino Heat though as he’s hung up to dry on the top rope by Starman. With Eddie on the apron and Benoit in the ring, they just begin pounding on each other, much like Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn like to do in this day and age. That was awesome. It’s like they say, best friends usually make for the best enemies on TV. Starman attempts a suplex, but Eddie lands on top of him instead, and he gets the one, two, three! What a win! Even though Benoit’s feet were clearly all over the bottom rope, the ref didn’t see it, so Eddie wins!
Match Rating: 3 and a half stars
Good stuff, like usual. While Eddie walked up the ramp, he talked to the camera like the wrestlers did in the original SmackDown games. “Triple H is satisfied with his victory tonight.”
Backstage we see poor Tony Schiavone in the blue dressing room. Hacksaw Jim Duggan is marching around with a chair above his head, while the mysterious green man is sitting front and center while holding a rabbit. What the hell. Sting goes on a rant about how Ric Flair used little Stingers against him or something. Basically, WCW is doing everything in their power to ensure that Sting faces Ric Flair tonight. Well screw you WCW, I’m voting for Mr. J.L. to wrestle The Mega Shark and there’s not a damn thing you can do to stop me. After a commercial break we get an advertisement for WCW Fall Brawl ’95, now available on VHS at video stores across the country. Oh boy, I’d better get out there and get my copy before they’re all gone. Stinger makes his way to the ring now, no smiling, no yelling. Just him and his orange tights. It appears the color orange attracts betrayal. Sting, Becky Lynch, etc. etc.
Flair is out next, and he’s not wearing a robe. Holy crap, this feels weird. I wonder why he’s not wearing one…. And also where are Arn Anderson and Brian Pillman? These are the questions that haunt me. Sting tried to get at Flair, but Slick Ric used a female security guard as a human shield to protect himself. Oh my god, that was hilarious. Flair gets onto the apron, and of course Sting attacks him before he can even properly get into the ring. This is madness with all this jumping the gun stuff in these matches. Like, take a chill pill, damn.
Sting vs. Ric Flair
God forbid anybody in WCW be sportsmanlike. Sting starts off stomping away on Ric Flair, then mounts him for some punches. Following that, he lifts Flair into the air for an overhead press slam. Oh boy, here we go again with these two and the god damn press slams. Flair begging for his life here as Sting unloads with a 10-Punch in the corner. He then shoots Flair off into the opposite turnbuckle where he does his famous buckle-flip-bump thing onto the apron. Sting then hits him with a clothesline, and DOWN. GOES. FLAIR. Sting sends Flair face first into the barricade at ringside, which Flair no-sells in order to chop Sting three times in a row, which Sting no-sells. It’s like the vicious circle of life with these two. Flair again on his knees begging for mercy, but he just gets punched. That’s what happens when you betray the Stinger, Ric. I also just noticed Ric Flair is missing a knee pad. When the heck did that happen? Nonetheless the assault continues as Sting once again sends Flair’s face into the guardrail. However Flair is able to regain control with an eye rake, and then a suplex onto the concrete. Score one for The Nature Boy.
Ric Flair struts away, proud of what he’s done. He did that to sucker Sting in, as Sting attempted a Stinger Splash, but Flair was able to move out of the way, sending Stinger crashing ribs first into the barricade. Ouchie mother of mercy. We now head to commercial break while Sting lays half dead on the arena floor. I also just noticed there are 19 minutes left of this show. Are we seriously about to get a Flair/Sting classic here? Ric Flair remains in control as we return from commercial break. Chopping and kicking away at Sting. Naitch nails a big backsuplex, and then locks in a Figure Four! Holy crap what if this is the end of the match? My whole life would be one giant lie. Slick Ric grabs onto the ropes for leverage here, which is obviously illegal. Good ol’ Naitch. Stinger lasts for quite a while in this Figure Four, until he’s able to pull Flair away from the ropes. Now Sting with the crazy eyes. Let the beating commence. Stinger is able to flip over onto his belly to break the hold, however he’s now a man on one leg. Flair looks to take advantage of this with a kick to the shin of the injured leg, however Sting once again no-sells Flair’s offense, and Flair is freaking out. Oh my god, another press slam from Sting after he finished standing around no-selling Flair’s punches. Sting throws Flair across the ring, and then he hits him with a dropkick for good measure. Naitch goes into the corner to beg for mercy, and lures Sting into a thumb to the eye. This is ridiculous. Flair’s offense is too weak to damage Sting, yet Sting is dumb enough to fall for all of this nonsense time and time again. You’re killin’ me, Larry.
The Nature Boy sends Sting to the outside of the ring, and then follows that up with a double axe handle off the apron, and onto Sting’s back. More chops and eye gouging follow, as Sting screams bloody murder. Ric Flair runs over to the other side of the ringside area, and runs back with a steel chair, however the referee takes it away before he can actually use it. Oh my goodness. Flair is comedy gold. I can’t stop laughing right now. Back in the ring where Flair nails Sting with a right hand. All the while Eric Bischoff is teasing a big announcement for after this match. Oh joy, I wonder what it’s gonna be. Also Sting’s ass is wet. He must have sat in beer or something during that horror movie eye gouging scene. Yes, I really felt the need to point that out. Ric Flair just pinned Sting four consecutive times with his feet on the ropes. Holy hell, this referee is really incompetent. Sting and Flair decide that ten minutes into the match is a good time to get their technical wrestling game on, as they do your usual headlock, pin bridge, bridge up, backslide ordeal, which ends with The Stinger getting a two count. Ric Flair with another thumb to the eye, and he scales the ropes. He gets caught by Sting, who sends him flying with another overhead press slam. Boy, you can just tell these two had spots that they hit in every single match. Obviously it’s what wrestlers do, but it’s so much more glaringly obvious with Sting and Flair for some reason.
Sting unloads now with right hands in the corner, while the referee is doing everything in his power to stop him. Y’know, I’m starting to think maybe this ref is a crooked ref. He might be in Flair’s pocket because he’s going after Sting for landing two punches, yet almost entirely ignored Flair’s antics throughout this match. Either way, Sting picks up the ref and sits him on the top rope of the opposite turnbuckle to get him out of the way. During all of this, Flair pulls a pair of taped brassknuckles out from his trunks, and uses them to strike Sting in the face. Slick Ric however does not take advantage right away, deciding instead to strut around the ring, to eventually land an elbow drop and pin Sting. Sting is able to kick out though, because Flair took eighty years to capitalize. Sting gets up, and it’s more no-selling and more press slams. Good grief. Sting sets Flair up on the top turnbuckle, and connects with a superplex. He then quickly gets up and locks in the Scorpion Death Lock on Naitch. Ric Flair gives up! Sting is your winner! Hooooo what a shock ending. I thought for sure Anderson or Pillman would have run down and caused a DQ. Happy days here, lads.
Match Rating: 4 stars
I really, really enjoyed that match.
Sting refuses to let go of the Scorpion Death Lock, even well after he’s won the match. Referees pour down from the back, but they can’t get him off. Now here come Mr. J.L. and Eddie Guerrero, but even they can’t get Sting off of The Nature Boy. Dude imagine if Becky did this to Charlotte after Charlotte (inevitably) turns on her again? Becky just refusing to let go of the Dis-Arm-Her. It’d give her quite the edge, and show that she’s really not someone you’d want to mess with. Large green man is out next, sans his rabbit unfortunately. It ended up taking Johnny B. Badd and Hacksaw Jim Duggan to get Sting up and off of Flair. It’s only temporarily though, as Sting decides to run back into the ring afterwards and lock the Death Lock back in. Now finally here comes Lex Luger. Jesus man, talk some sense into your friend over there. Funnily enough, it appears that that is exactly what he did. He managed to get Sting off of Flair and out of the ring just by saying something to him. What a lad this Lex Luger is.
After a short commercial break, we return to see Mean Gene in the ring with The Giant, Jimmy Hart, and Mr. Ketchup & Mustard himself, Kevin Sullivan. Meanie Genie says The Giant is not the WCW Champion. Okay then. Some lawyer comes out and basically says that while yes, the contract for Hogan vs. Giant did say that Giant would win the title on a DQ, the DQ was too screwy for their liking, therefore the title is being held up, and the winner of the World War 3 Battle Royal on PPV will become the new world champion. Poor Giant. All because Hogan didn’t want to get pinned. Jimmy Hart hands over the title while Rubber Ducky man has a fit on the microphone. This is amazing. What a comedy show. This might even be better than the episode of Seinfeld I watched last night. That’s it for this week. We get a look at next week’s card which will feature: Macho Man vs. Meng, Eddie Guerrero vs. Johnny B. Badd for the TV title, and Sting vs. Dean Malenko. That sounds like a great show to me.
Final WCW Nitro Saga Thoughts:
Wow, what a show we had this week. on the WCW Nitro Saga Some really fun matches, all around comedy gold with the backstage segments, and a bombshell with the reveal that the title will be on the line in the battle royal at World War 3. Unfortunately I already know who will win at the PPV, but still, this storyline is getting pretty exciting. What I don’t know, is who wins between Eddie and Johnny B. Badd next week, so I’m really looking forward to that. Otherwise, great show. Probably the best one up to this point. Until next time I am JeriKane, and this is the WCW Nitro Saga.
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