Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the WCW Nitro Saga. Tonight we get fallout from the World War 3 pay-per-view event, as well as some in-ring action from superstars such as Sting, Lex Luger, and Hulk Hogan. We’re inching closer to the end of the year, so it’s time to see what WCW has in store for us at Starrcade, and beyond.
When?: November 27, 1995
Where?: Salem Civic Center in Salem, Virginia
Oh boy, Virginia. I’ve got some memories from there. Eric Bischoff welcomes us to the show, and immediately he mentions that we’ve got a new Worlds Champion, and his name is Macho Man Randy Savage. I already knew that he won the title, but still… why? Like I dig the Macho Man, don’t get me wrong, but he feels like such a midcarder right now. Though in fairness, everyone that’s not named Hulk Hogan feels like a midcarder, so…. whatcha gonna do brother??? Eric says that both Savage and Hogan are in the building tonight, and they will be meeting face-to-face. Not in a wrestling match, no no. Don’t get your hopes up. I’m sure it won’t actually be face-to-face either. Mean Gene will probably be in between them because that guy loves hogging the spotlight. Bischoff also mentions that Sting and Luger will be teaming together tonight. What a guy this Lex Luger is. He joined the dark side but still takes time out of his schedule to team with his friend. I wish I had a friend like that. Mongo talks, he says that the wrestlers are ready to eat raw meat or something, I don’t know. I try not to listen to him. Also while we’re talking about Mongo, I read that he eventually becomes WCW United States Champion???? Are you freaking kidding me??? No wonder this company went out of business.
We get a look at what happened between Sting, Hogan, and Savage at the World War 3 PPV. Basically, Hulk Hogan is saying Savage and Sting are his friends, and he wants to be their friend forever (hahaha), then he shed his dark clothing and burned it, to reveal the true red-and-yellow Hulk Hogan. Well, that’s disappointing, to say the least. I really enjoyed the absurdity of Skyrim Hulk Hogan. Sting says “THE BLACK. IS GONE. FOR GOOD.” which is not true. They’d all be wearing black by 1997. That’s the end of that PPV bit, but I’ve gotta say, it hurts my soul seeing Savage and Sting as nothing more than Hogan’s little buddies. They’re both so much more than that. It kind of makes me irrationally angry. Especially when it comes to Macho Man. God damn. That poor guy could never really catch a break. During the PPV bit, I saw Hogan holding a piece of rolled up paper in his hand. Was this the infamous “OBSERVE THIS, BROTHER” promo? I feel like it is. It probably is. What did Dave Meltzer even write that Hogan felt he needed to address it on PPV? That whole situation is just odd to me… nonetheless, we see the commentary team again, and they confirm Sting and Lex Luger vs. Brian Pillman and Arn Anderson for tonight’s main event. Cool.
It’s time for our first match of the night, as Johnny B. Badd arrives, along with “Diamond Doll.” After some Googling, I see that this is apparently Kimberly Page. She looks like a knockoff Miss Elizabeth to me, but alright. Zorro The Explorer over here is shooting out frisbees into the crowd again. Unfortunately, still, no one has gotten hit in the face by one. I cannot truly laugh until I see that happen. Johnny B. Badd hands over his little Chyna-shooter-funfetti-gun deal to Kimberly and she successfully shoots it. Eat your heart out, Shawn Michaels. Out next is none other than Diamond Dallas Page, who’s carrying flowers and looking extremely sad. I wonder why. He hands the flowers over to Kimberly, and then sucker punches Zorro, which leads to the bell ringing. This match is underway.
Johnny B. Badd vs. Diamond Dallas Page
DDP is aggressive early on here, landing kicks and punches, and stomping on Zorro’s fingers. The cameramen are focusing on Kimberly, which I guess is understandable since she’s the real story here. I also caught a glimpse of that horrifying WCW mascot, Wildcat Willie. Who in the hell thought he was a good idea? Good grief. Back in the ring, Johnny B. Badd attempted a tilt-a-whirl headscissors deal, but he got slammed down in kind of a tombstone-esque maneuver by DDP. All My Children has gotten pretty violent this week, eh? Page goes for a cover in the background and manages a two count, while Kimberly is just standing there…. staring at the flowers she got. She ends up pulling a chain out of the flowers, then proceeds to look around for two minutes like a clueless child who lost their parent in the grocery store. Another pin happened, I think. I don’t know. I’m currently trying to remove my eyes from my skull. In kayfabe I’m saying “I hope this match isn’t long” but in reality, I’m saying “I KNOW this match isn’t long, it’s almost done. Praise the day.” When does Johnny B. Badd leave to the WWF? And when does DDP start feuding with Randy Savage? Can we skip to those times? I don’t like 1995 anymore.
Zorro The Explorer hits a headscissors takedown, yet…. DDP is the one who gets to his feet first. That makes no sense, but alright. DDP is now asking for that chain from Kimberly. The whole friggin’ match built up to this one moment, and I could not care less about what she decides to do. She ends up throwing it between DDP’s legs, and into Johnny B. Badd’s hands, who uses it to strike DDP in the face. Zorro covers, and it’s a one, two, three. This match is OVER.
Match Rating: 1 star
Johnny confronts Kimberly after the match, asking what she was doing. She just kinda looks around for a second and then says “well, you won, that’s the point!” which is true. Fair enough, Fake Miss Elizabeth.
We return to the commentary desk after a commercial break, where they again hype up the main event of the evening. Bischoff then sends us to Mean Gene, who is standing by with Jimmy Hart and The Rubber Duck Kevin Sullivan. I actually accidentally referred to him as “The Drifter” not too long ago, which is obviously not the case. He’s the Taskmaster, and apparently, he’s angry at Jimmy Hart, because Lex Luger is running around with Sting. We see footage of World War 3, where Luger had Savage in an armbar, which Sting somehow convinced him to let go of. I’m so confused. Still won’t watch the PPV though. Jimmy Hart finally gets to speak, and he says that Sting and Luger go way back, other generic stuff like that. What sparks interest is that he says that he and Luger have a plan with Sting. Uh-oh. I imagine once Sting hears about that, he’s not gonna like it. Luger’s playing around too much. Anyways, that closes up that segment. Next up is “four of Japan’s finest.” Alright then.
Cutie Suzuki and Mayumi Ozaki vs.
Bull Nakano and Akira Hokuto
Welp. Safe to say, I was not prepared for this. At all.
I don’t know what to say, other than Asuka’s got nothing on Akira Hokuto. Asuka’s masks and stuff looks like a children’s cartoon compared to this monstrosity that Akira is wearing. It looks like a skinless devils mask or something. Nevertheless, Bull Nakano is also with her, and it’s cool to see Bull, considering she was in the WWF only a few months ago (I believe she competed at SummerSlam in ’95. Or was it ’94?). Their opponents are also wrestlers; wrestlers who countered an attack from Akira before the bell rang. Even these women from a completely different company and country know WCW Etiquette. It’s real, guys. I’m telling you. Also how confident do you have to be to call yourself “cutie,” like seriously?
This match starts off with some quick action, and also some clusterfuckery as Ozaki seemingly botches an over-the-ropes spot. She then gets completely womanhandled by Akira Hokuto. What a machine. She then chokes out Ozaki from the second rope, while Bull Nakano tags herself in to attack as well. This honestly looks like two grown adults beating on two teenagers. It’s kind of weird. Bull Nakano swings Ozaki by her hair in the most brutal way I’ve ever seen. I legitimately said “oh my god” out loud, that’s how bad that looked. Bull does the hair swing again, and it looks just as brutal as the first time. I am terrified. We get more double team action by Akira and Bull, as well as a pinfall, which gets broken up by Cutie. Ozaki turns another hair attack into a tag, as Cutie comes in, and manages to hit a big full nelson suplex to Akira for a two count. Cutie and Ozaki are now in control, taking Bull Nakano down. They then… stand on her and stomp for a few seconds, then they both go to top rope and land double Coup De Grace’s. This match is amazing.
Bull Nakano gets back to her feet after a kickout, and she ends up hitting a double suplex to Cutie and Ozaki. She then tags in Akira, who hits a crossbody to both women who were down on the mat. Big powerbomb by Akira to Ozaki, and a pinfall, but it gets broken up by Cutie. Ozaki takes advantage of an Irish whip by hitting a hurricanrana on Akira for a two count. More suplexes and pin attempts by Ozaki and Akira. Eventually, Bull Nakano tags back in and attempts a powerbomb on Cutie, who gets out of it. Cutie then tried a sunset flip but ends up getting sat on by Bull for a two count. Bullheads for the top rope, however, she gets caught and taken out by Cutie and Ozaki. Those two then climb the ropes and get sent to the outside by Akira. Then Akira goes to the top rope and launches herself off, but she ends up landing on her partner instead of Ozaki and Cutie. Holy crap, this is wild. Back in the ring, Nakano lands a double clothesline to her opponents, and then tags in Akira, who lands a huge double missile dropkick from the top rope. She finishes this match off by nailing Cutie with a big fisherman’s suplex brainbuster for the one, two, three. God damn.
Match Rating: 3 stars
That was complete madness from start to finish. Try and top that, Hogan.
Speaking of whom:
Yeah, good luck bud.
When we come back from commercial we see the lineup for WCW Saturday Night. Sting will be taking on Kurasawa, Dean Malenko will be in action, The American Males will be in action, and VK Wallstreet will do battle with Hacksaw Jim Duggan. How exciting.
Out comes Hugh Morrus for his match against The Hulkster. There’s not much to comment on when it comes to Bill DeMott. Hogan’s out next, and he’s referred to as “the biggest boy” by Eric Bischoff, which is hilarious. Hogan does his shirt tearing deal, throws it at Hugh, and this one’s underway.
Hugh Morrus vs. Hulk Hogan
We start off with a collar-and-elbow, Hugh transition’s into a headlock, Hogan shoots him off, drops down, and hits a shoulder block. Hogan’s technical wrestling now. Was Hogan out to prove something at this time? He did the same thing last week against Sting. This is getting weird. Hugh Morrus rakes the eyes and tries to take advantage, but he can’t. The Hulkster lays in with right hands and then lands a big clothesline. Hulk now biting and scratching and clawing, because y’know, he’s a babyface, and that’s what babyfaces do. Sami Zayn, take notes. Hugh Morrus with some impressive athleticism, getting Irish whipped into the corner, only to land on the second rope, then turn around and hit a big flying clothesline. Good stuff. It’s a shame everyone on commentary except Mongo no-sold it though. Hugh Morrus now slams Hogan down and hits a beautiful moonsault, which Hogan not only kicks out of but no-sells completely, in order to do his hulking up shtick. What a sad state of affairs.
I think you know what happens next. Do you really need me to go through it?
Match Rating: 1 star
End this pain. Bring back Lord of the Rings Hulk Hogan.
Hey guys, the World War 3 encore is on tomorrow at 5PM EST if you want to check that out. All you have to do is call your local cable provider to order. That said, we get sent up to the stage where Mean Gene is standing by, and he introduces the new WCW World Heavyweight Champion of the World, the Macho Man, Randy Savage. I will say that that title looks great on Savage. Not as good as the winged eagle, but still good. Mean Gene gets snubbed by Macho Man as he congratulated him for winning the title. He went in for a handshake, but Savage didn’t reciprocate. The highlight of the show so far. Savage says he’s happy to be the champion (yeah, who wouldn’t be?), and he says it doesn’t matter if it only lasts for one day, or forever and a day, he’s on top of the mountain, and ready to take on everyone.
Down comes Hulk Hogan, because everything must revolve around him. He says he was never thrown over the top rope last night, and he mentions the World title still saying “Hulk Hogan” on it. Savage replies by saying “I’m planning on getting that changed, you know what I mean? BROTHER.” Oh man, this is great. Hogan plays the footage from the battle royal, where he eliminates Sting, Luger, and The Giant, and just as it’s about to show The Giant pulling Hogan out from underneath the bottom rope, the footage “malfunctions.” Hogan then has a fit until The Giant shows up and attacks Hogan from behind. He then hits Macho Man with a huge chokeslam onto the concrete. Ouch. Giant and Hogan brawl all the way into the ring, but before The Giant can do any more damage, he gets stopped by Sting. Sting holds onto his boot until Hogan comes to, and manages to hit the big man with the chair, not once, but four times. Outside of the ring now, Hogan continues his assault with the chair until Sting calls him off so they can check on the Macho Man.
It is now main event time, as Arn Anderson and Brian Pillman make their way down to the ring. Out next is Sting, wearing the orange and yellow colors. Perfect for current day Halloween, as well as 1995 Thanksgiving. Luger takes a second to come out, but he does, and nothing bad happens. Or at least, nothing bad has happened yet. Can Luger be trusted? Can STING, be trusted? Do I honestly care? Not really. Let’s get into this final match of the night.
Arn Anderson and Brian Pillman vs. Sting and Lex Luger
Anderson quickly starts things off, hammering away on The Stinger. He punks out Luger, which distracts the referee, allowing Anderson and Pillman to double-team Sting. Double-A then hits a huge spinebuster for a nothing count, as Luger comes in and breaks it up. Sting and Luger now with their own double teaming here, showing two can play at that game. Sting with some double bulldogs, and then both Sting and Luger hit military press slams on Anderson and Pillman. The Horsemen go outside now to regroup, which is fair. I also just realized that Arn Anderson and Brian Pillman were the big two who were not ported over from WWE 2K17 to WWE 2K18. That’s pretty disappointing to me personally, as I used Brian Pillman a lot. More stalling from the Horsemen when they get back into the ring, talking down to Lex Luger. This match turns into the ultimate clusterfuck once Luger tags in, with failed double-team attempts, forearm shots, and Pillman landing throat first on the ringside barricade.
Sting tags back in, and immediately hits a Stinger Splash to Arn Anderson in the corner. He then goes in for the kill with the Scorpion Death Lock, unfortunately, Pillman breaks it up, after he got shoved off the top rope by Lex Luger. Dammit Lex, ya dummy. Pillman is in now, and he’s taking it to Sting. More double-team stomping and such from the Horsemen. Luger tried to help, but he got stopped by Nick Patrick. Sting eventually is able to set himself free from the assault but gets hit with The Dickens by Arn Anderson for his efforts. Man, Brian Pillman is really a slimeball in this match, messing with Luger and running around everywhere. He reminds me of modern day Cesaro. Meanwhile, commentary keeps trying to play off all of these coincidences with Luger as intentional things (such as him not being there to tag in, despite the fact that he took out Pillman and ran back to his corner as fast as humanly possible). You’re not convincing me of anything, Eric. Luger is Sting’s friend goddammit. He would never sabotage him. After a bit of a kerfuffle, Sting manages to roll up Pillman for the one, two, three, and the win.
Match Rating: 1 and a half stars
As soon as the bell rings, Ric Flair runs down and pulls Lex’s feet off the apron. Now the Horsemen are all attacking Sting and Luger in the ring. Well actually, where’s Chris Benoit? Meh, doesn’t matter. Of course, none other than Hulk Hogan runs down to make the save. He takes out Anderson and Pillman, then seemingly forgets about Flair. That is, until Flair chops him. That sends Hogan into his shtick, but the Horsemen are able to get Flair out of there relatively unharmed. The Hulkster then turns his attention to Lex Luger, and goes to attack him, but he gets stopped by Sting. Those two then have words as Flexy Lexy gets out of town. Hogan and Sting eventually shake hands, hug, and everything is alright again. Woo.
We end the show with the commentary team hyping up an announcement on WCW Saturday Night that has to do with Starrcade. I suppose we’ll hear about that next week on Nitro.
That show was lame. I was quite bored throughout it, so, I guess things can only go up from here. The women’s match was fun, as was Macho Man’s interview. Otherwise, this show gets a thumbs down.
Until next time, I am JeriKane, and this is the WCW Nitro Saga.