That is right ladies and gentlemen, it’s time once again for a trip to Nitro Town with another edition of The WCW Nitro Saga. I am your host JeriKane, and I am learning. Yes, that’s right, I’m learning how to properly deal with watching these Nitro episodes. I’ve got a bottle of water with me, and I’ve got music playing in the background. It’ll hopefully help keep me sane while I inevitably watch some stupid shit on WCW Nitro. It’s not all doom and gloom though, as last week provided some much-needed hope. We saw Booker T, The Giant, and Buff Bagwell for the first time on WCW Nitro, which is setting up for our brighter future as we go along here in this series. Admittedly the preview for this week’s episode doesn’t make it sound very interesting, but nonetheless, let’s get into it.
When?: September 25, 1995
Where?: Florence Civic Center, in Florence, South Carolina
Episode #4 start!
Just a quick note to anyone who may dislike me or, really just anyone in general. If you ever wanted to make me angry instantly, just show me this picture of Mongo McMichael. I’ll be pissed off for the next 24 hours guaranteed. I was not kidding that one time when I said I’d rather Mantaur on RAW. I’d rather watch the worst thing wrestling has ever produced to be quite honest, and that says a lot because I’ve lived through some awful stuff. I’ve seen Katie Vick, the RAW guest host era, Tommy Dreamer drinking The Undertaker’s spit. All of that is fucking rainbows and roses compared to Mongo. I cannot stress enough how much I hate this guy. I’m not even a minute in yet, this is already awful.
Luckily Eric Bischoff cuts off whatever Mongo was saying, and runs down what’s gonna happen this week. Mainly wrestlers getting answers from other wrestlers. Oh, and Macho Man and his paranoia want respect. We’re not wasting any time this week, as we get right into our first match of this WCW Nitro.
Match #1: ‘Das Wunderkind’ Alex Wright vs. Disco Inferno
We get these two men’s entrances and it’s already terrible. Disco Inferno is dancing like it’s the 1960s and it makes me want to stab my eyes with a fork. I do want to point out that as soon as I saw Disco Inferno, he reminded me of the main character from GTA Vice City, so, take that for what it’s worth (which is nothing). Disco took his pants off and as you can see from the picture above, his ass says “shake your booty” and now I’m starting to love this act, just because it’s so absurd. I can’t remember if Disco Inferno goes on to have success, but I sure hope he does, because I don’t want this gimmick to go anywhere. As for Alex Wright, eh. I could do without him, but in fairness, I’ve only seen him get killed by Sabu up to this point, so we’ll see how he does here.
We get things started right away with Disco attacking Alex Wright before the bell could even ring (very common theme in WCW, isn’t it?). Disco dumps Wright to the outside of the ring and then dances. Wright hits a dropkick from the top rope, and now the nice young man is in control. Referee Nick Patrick and his mullet give Alex Wright a two count on a pin attempt. Cross body from Wright to the Disco on the floor and things are on fire right now. Disco Inferno however quickly regains control inside the ring and does so while looking a lot like Don Muraco. Maybe I’ll start calling him “The Man of 1,000 Looks” because he’s tripping me out right now. While we’re on the topic of looks, I’ve gotta say that Alex Wright has “Tough Enough winner” written all over him. He just has that look to him, I can’t explain it. Now, imagine Alex Wright eliminating The Undertaker from the Royal Rumble instead of Maven.
Alex Wright hit an arm drag, and then Disco stood there for a good two seconds standing up perfectly normal, and then he started to stumble and sell. What the fuck. That has to be one of the worst sells I’ve ever seen. Inferno then hits a clothesline and Alex Wright sells it properly because he actually knows how to wrestle. Then Disco checks his hair while looking like a YouTuber I used to watch. That’s his third different look in one match, it’s getting to be extremely impressive. 50 Cent’s song goes to the top rope but gets caught with a dropkick from Das Wunderkind. Multiple uppercuts to Disco but it only gets Wright a two count. Prom Date Alex gets a backslide in on Disco for the one, two, three! Holy shit, unexpected victory. I really thought Disco had it considering it was his WCW Nitro debut.
Well, that wasn’t a bad match in the end. Perfectly decent opener.
Match Rating: 2 and a ½ stars
Bischoff says Hulk Hogan is standing by, so… let’s go see him I guess.
Holy cow. This is absolutely hilarious. Look at this guy! THE IMMORTAL HULK HOGAN in a neck brace. It looks like a scene out of a sitcom or something, god damn. Hulk says he’s been licking his wounds since Fall Brawl brother. Jimmy Hart then has to stop Hogan from ripping off his neck brace. I always knew Jimmy Hart was really just his babysitter. Poor man. Anyways, Hulk says he wants to meet The Giant with trucks, and he’ll put the WCW World title on the line. He then says man, brother, dude, and jack a lot. Hulkster calls Big Show the “big, stinky, nasty Giant” and I wonder how anyone over the age of 10 was watching this godforsaken show. Mercifully it’s over soon after, and we get a shot of what the next match will be (beats me, I know neither of these men).
Before that however, we get yet another Macho Man Slim Jim ad, which is cool. Mean Gene Okerlund is in the ring, getting ready to interview someone no doubt. We’re getting a replay of what happened last week between Macho Man and Lex Luger. This is great because now I can do other stuff, while the time is running on the episode. Best of every world. “There’s no bigger boy than the Macho Man Randy Savage”… I don’t know about that, Mach. The Giant is roaming around these halls, y’know. Or hell, even Luger is bigger than you.
We get a look at black and white Macho Man pre-NWO, and it’s pretty awesome. He always had the best looking attires. Flexy Lexy says he’s tired of being disrespected, and that sometimes you’ve gotta go to war against someone to see what they’ve got, rather than with them. Luger is an awful promo. He’s starting to make me appreciate babyface Seth Rollins. Oh hell yeah, Luger proposes a match between he and Savage for next week, and if Luger loses he will leave the WCW. That is awesome, and I really hope it happens. I’m sceptical about everything, clearly. Macho Man agrees while also stating where they’ll be next week, which is good for my next article ’cause now I don’t have to look up their location. Bless.
We get an advertisement for Halloween Havoc and the “Machine vs. Machine” match for Hogan and The Giant. However, after that, we head back to ringside because it’s time for our next match of this WCW Nitro.
Match #2: Kurasawa vs. Sgt. Craig Pitman
What in the ever loving hell is happening right here? Who are these guys? You’ve got one of them looking like the most generic wrestler ever, and the other one looks like he came straight from the set of Cadet Kelly. Why the fuck is this happening? Sgt. Craig is using his head a lot, and Kurasawa has nice kicks. Those are my biggest takeaways from this match so far. Holy shit, Kurasawa backdropped Sgt. Craig onto the concrete outside the ring, but that awesome moment was immediately ruined by Mongo saying “that splatted like grandma out of the wheelchair.” This kind of feels like an MMA fight, it feels very real, and I dig it.
Kurasawa this time takes a big spill to the outside of the ring as The Pitbull takes control. Pitbull targeting the arm now, in brutal fashion. He locked in an armbar that commentary was calling “Code Red” but Kurasawa was able to get to the ropes to break. Kurasawa hits a German suplex on Pitman for a three count, and the win, in what ended up being a surprisingly good match. You never hear anything about either of these guys in modern times, so I didn’t really expect much, but god damn. It was pretty great. Not much else to say, it was a very technical, limb-targeting based match. It felt unique.
Match Rating: 3 stars
Still to come on WCW Nitro, The Taskmaster vs. The Macho Man, and much more (so says Eric Bischoff, the timer on this episode tells me otherwise). Mean Gene is back in the ring, this time with Arn Anderson and Brian Pillman. Two all time greats.
They’re going on about Ric Flair. I think vaguely referencing The Four Horsemen? I really don’t know. Brian Pillman was quite out there. Hopefully, Arn will explain things here with his part of the interview. Apparently, Ric Flair needs a tag team partner, but nobody is biting. Neither Macho Man nor Sting. Tough luck, bud. We go back to Eric Bischoff and he gives a rundown of the matches that’ll be happening on WCW Saturday Night, which does not matter at all to me because WCW Saturday Night is not on the WWE Network. We get a replay of that awesome fucking beach beat down scene from last week’s episode so that people know why Macho Man and Kevin Sullivan are wrestling. Speaking of Kevo, out he comes with spooky scary red lighting and a robe that wishes it was as cool as Undertaker’s Ministry of Darkness robe. The Macho Man is out next on WCW Nitro, and off to the races we go.
Match #3: Randy Savage vs. Kevin Sullivan
Creepy ass Brutus Beefcake is out there already, so that might give you an idea of how this match is gonna go. Macho Man leaps out to chase The Taskmaster, but already “The Zodiac” hits him with a clothesline. Oh man, this is gonna be fun. Into the post goes Macho Man, and then he gets thrown back in the ring to be fed to Kevin Sullivan. Back on the outside of the ring, Taskmaster atomic drops Savage onto the guardrail, and the clusterfuckery is in full effect. Macho Man is selling this amazingly, as Sully continues with punches and chops. Eventually on the outside Savage is able to hit a back body drop and regain control of this one.
Back in the ring, Mach hits a double axehandle, but before he can capitalize, The Zodiac interferes yet again. In a fit of rage, Randy Savage throws the referee aside, and I can’t blame him for it at all because this is bullshit quite frankly. Macho Man gets disqualified as he continues assaulting Sully and Beefcake. OUT COMES THE GIANT HOWEVER. Savage is fucked. Huge chokeslam to the Macho Man, and that’s the end of that. Or so I thought. Two wrestlers ran out only to meet the same fate as the fallen Macho Man. Alex Wright comes out next to a huge pop, only to get caught in a bear hug, and then slammed. Finally, Lex Luger runs down, and seemingly went to attack Macho Man, but got attacked by The Giant before he could do so. He too takes a chokeslam, which is doubly bad because he has a match against Meng next.
This wasn’t really a match, but if you think of it as a segment, it was pretty great. I’ll be generous here.
Match Rating: 2 stars
We come back from commercial and see a horrifying promo for Halloween Havoc, that I really, really wish I could un-see. I’ll tell ya what though, Brutus Beefcake is by far the scariest guy from all of the Dungeon of Doom. It’s the combo of the face paint and him just being weird in general. It really works in my opinion. Back in the ring, and Luger is down as Meng makes his way to the WCW Nitro ring.
Match #3: Lex Luger vs. Meng
These guys need to chill out so I can get better screenshots. They’re always attacking each other before the bell and shit, it’s getting annoying. Petty complaining aside, this one is under way, and I am actually quite happy to see Meng. Don’t ask me why I just am. Heenan says he managed Meng at the “peak of his career” which happened in the WWF. Accidentally putting over the competition, perhaps. I noticed Meng is wearing boots which surprised me, as he continues to fuck up Lex Luger. Meng went for the first pin attempt of this contest, for only a two count. We get some rest holds here as the crowd cheers on Luger. Haku eventually hits some horrible looking tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, and the funny part was he ended up lowering his kickpad from his boot. Another pin attempt, another two count.
Meng puts Luger in another headlock, and it lasts a while. This is boring, I’m trying to find more minor things to nitpick, but there isn’t really anything there. After a very long time, the crowd willed Luger to his feet to fight back, but it didn’t last long at all. This is brutal. Luger went to hit a running a clothesline to Meng, who was positioned against the turnbuckle, and Luger was the one who ended up falling. What in the fuck is this? Meng pulls a spike out from under his kickpad and nails Lexicon in the throat with it, and that’s enough to get Haku the win! Wow, another shocking victory on WCW Nitro
Match Rating: 1 star
WE WENT TO A COMMERCIAL! THERE’S LIKE A MINUTE LEFT ON THIS SHOW. Oh my goodness gracious. We come back and Bobby Heenan saying “WWF” was blocked out, and that made me laugh quite a bit. Bischoff says more stuff, and that’s basically it as we end the show.
Good WCW Nitro show this week, the time flew by, which I guess meant I was having fun, at least to some degree. I saw the thumbnail for next week’s episode and I saw Eddie Guerrero and Dean Malenko, so I’m already excited for that. Things are looking up, my friends. Now if we could just get rid of Mongo…
Until next times WCW Nitro, I am JeriKane. Don’t forget to hit us up if you have any suggestions, or criticisms, as I’m always looking out to improve this series, and make it the best it can possibly be.